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Change Stinks!

An anonymous quote that I have seen quite frequently says “If you want something you never had, you have to do something you have never done.” This is significantly easier said, than done, right? It is easier to try to do the same thing over and over again, to just “try harder,” and hope that you get the right result. Only that’s how Albert Einstein defined insanity: to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. I, for one, am not interested in being insane.

I have a challenge for you, and no, it is not to take a photo of yourself in black and white, or to dump ice on your head, although I think those are pretty fantastic challenges that you would likely enjoy participating in. This challenge is a challenge to make a different choice. This challenge is about change, and that may be the hardest challenge that you will ever try to conquer.

I have written a number of blogs in the past year, and most of them involve at least some expectation of change, that is what therapy is all about, right? It is also what life coaching is about (and if you have not seen our flier about life coaching, check it out, and please excuse the shameless plug of our services in the blog). I am fairly certain I have even written blogs that are about change before. I felt like it was time to say it again, perhaps in different terms, so that I do not do the same thing again, but instead, so that I am reminding you of what I know you already know.

In science class, we learn about “homeostasis,” which is essentially the fancy way of saying that life will do whatever it takes to stay the same way that it is. Our routine behaves in the exact same way. When we try to change our routine, we feel excited initially, but then we fall back in to old habits. Why do we do that? Because that is what feels the easiest, and sometimes life is hard. We do it because we know the outcome, and sometimes the unknown is scarier than being unhappy. But this is a sad, lonely way to live life. Life is to be lived powerfully, to be lived with passion, and to be lived in a way that you can be proud of.

At times, I will leave steps you can take to do something differently, but I am not going to do that today. I expect that most of you have some picture on your phone of how to change, or you have memorized it from long ago. Instead, I am going to challenge you to make a change in the best way you know how. It is different for everyone, and that is what makes it hard. What I will say is that accountability, someone who is a friend and can support you, is the most likely way that you will be successful. In all of our faults, we do not want to disappoint others. We are okay with disappointing ourselves, but not others. When others are counting on us to do something, even if it is for ourselves, we will do it.

Change should not be a scary word, and it is not something that happens naturally. Instead, change is a daily process by which we live our life. And when we forget to change, when we fall back in to old habits, it is our job to jump back in to the change and not give us. Imagine your best life, and get to it. There is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow, so we certainly do not want to count on tomorrow in order to live the life we want to live.